Between the intense morning sickness I experience, the uncomfortableness and tiredness, it's just not something I enjoy. I really wish I did though. God willing, I would have had so many babies by now! But even thinking about getting pregnant for a second time was terrifying to me. I knew what was coming for me but I just love babies, my babies. I want more even though the getting there part is pretty crappy.
Being pregnant with a toddler is a whole nother ball game too. You guys, I'm either just a total pansy or I don't know but it sucks! I'm 27 weeks currently and I can't even lift my child into his car seat and there's no way in hell I want to wait 15 minutes in the freezing cold for him to climb up into his seat while he finds every toy in the car and comments on it, picks it up, throws it back down, finds another one and so on while on his way up into his car seat. So I just suck it up, conjure up some strength in my legs and heave him up into his seat while he kicks and screams and yells at me that he wants to do it himself.
I'm exhausted pretty much every single day. I'm nauseas almost every day and I feel like I'm the size of a house. Pregnancy is just not my thing.
When I got pregnant this time around I knew I was going to be the fittest mama to ever be. I was gonna eat chicken, brown rice, sweet potatoes and be fit. Ha! I wish it were that easy. Although I haven't gained nearly as much as I did with Copeland, it's just pretty much inevitable that my butt is going to rival Niki Minajs. It's weird though, when you get pregnant you know you're going to put on weight. That's just how it goes. But when it actually happens it's really hard to come to terms with, at least for myself it is. I really struggle with seeing my body change so drastically and although I know it's because I'm creating a beautiful life it's still mentally a huge mind F.
I try to avoid shopping completely because let's face it, clothes just don't look good once you reach a certain point in your pregnancy and they certainly aren't comfortable.
And then you go on Pinterest to get inspired and you see all these beautiful pregnant mamas in their beautiful outfits and I'm over here like which shirt of the husbands should I wear today? Captain America or the super comfy softball shirt?
This pregnancy is just so different than with Copeland. Like I've mentioned before, I was so over the moon about being pregnant with Copeland I could've gained 100 pounds and not cared and this time around I'm just over it.
But then my dad called me and said something that hit me like a ton of bricks. It was a random call, my dad lives in California and we don't talk that often. Anyway he called out of the blue to ask how I was feeling and in the middle of talking he just tells me how amazing it is to be able to carry a child. He told me how much he loved when my mom was pregnant, how beautiful she was. If I recall correctly, he used the phrase "it's such a bitchin look" haha my dad has a mouth on him. Anyway, he told me that pregnancy is not guaranteed. There's no guarantee I'll get pregnant again and that I really need to enjoy these 9 months because they are so short. He went on to tell me not to worry about what I see in the mirror, to only care about the life I'm creating and how beautiful of a gift that is. Needless to say, I cried and told him how much I needed to hear that.
I would love to hear some ideas you all have for feeling pretty, happy, sexy, or you know just for feeling normal while pregnant because I've still got 3 months left and I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin everyday.