Real Life | A New Day

You know those days where your little won't stop crying, no matter what you do to try and soothe them?
You pick up the messes around the house, just to walk into a another room with yet a another mess. 
You're tired, you feel overwhelmed and you just want a nap (but that is that is the last thing your little
 one wants) okay and maybe be able to eat something, that would be nice too.

Yesterday was one of the days. It was hard, for lack of a better word. 

It was actually, quite honestly, extremely overwhelming. (Better word) 

Usually when Copeland cries it's because he wants something. To be held, to be nursed, to take a nap, etc.
After exhausting everything I could think of to get him to calm down I felt discouraged. I felt bad, 
I felt like I was the worst mother on the face of the planet and I failed at doing the one thing I am 
meant to do. Soothe my baby. 

Motherhood is such a challenge. Usually, but not always, a daily challenge. It becomes wearing and is extremely trying. 

As 10, 11 and then finally midnight rolled around I decided to try putting him down again, hoping 
for some relief. But as I sat, nursing him in the rocking chair all I wanted was that moment to last forever. 
I myself could barely keep my eyes awake, yet I didn't want to let him go. The feeling of his warm, soft 
hair against my arm, his small and chubby hand resting against my chest and his big eyes staring up at me, 
between the heaviness his eyelids were holding. It was in this moment I realized motherhood is 
such a big and powerful gift that us mothers are given. It is a blessing, although some days it's hard to see it as such. 

This little body that I created. This baby whom I teach, nourish and help grow. He is a miracle. 
He is mine and I his. 

I felt worthless yesterday, but I we need to remember that we are from that. We are mothers. 
We are creators, teachers, picker uppers, cooks, maids, play time champs. We do it all, everyday.
Sometimes days don't go as planned or as hoped. Motherhood is hard. As my patience was wearing 
thin from a rather long and emotional filled day, I cried along side Copeland, asking or rather sobbing 
aloud "what else can I do?".

Fortuneately, the bad days don't last forever. Eventually bedtime rolls around and a new day will begin.
Sometimes much better than the last, maybe sometimes, dare I say it, worse. 
But it is a new day regardless. And a new day will come after that too.  That's the funny thing about time. It's always moving past us, never stopping or slowing down. 

Us moms are all in this together. I don't want myself to ever come off as having it all together. I don't. 
I don't want to give the impression as having the perfect life. I don't. I want to be real. Everyday is not 
a walk in the park. Sometimes I feel as if I'm walking through thorns and on broken glass. 
Some days (most days) I barely find the time to shower or brush my hair, or change out of my 
baggy shirt that is so comfy and easy to nurse in. I know... My poor husband. Some days it's hard 
to find the time to sit and make myself lunch, or respond to that email I meant to respond to last week, 
or finish folding the laundry from two days ago, I could go on and on you guys. But it's a new day 
and here's to hopefully having a better day than yesterday. 

yes that is mascara on his face, mouth, hands, teeth, and on my carpet. 

But it's all worth it. 

**Also! Editing the get to know me part 2 video right now as Copeland naps! Yay!**


Living Out of Wedlock said...

I absolutely love this! I felt down also about some things going on in my parenting journey and this made me realize that this is the most important job and we are responsible for a life so it is normal to mess up, move on, and learn! I keep telling myself, " I don't and won't always have the answer!"

Bella Brunette said...

This post is exactly what I needed to read today! I had a rough day with my little one and he's finally asleep! Yes it is exhausting but totally worth it! Thank you for making me feel better :)

bethr82 said...

I have a 5 week old and a 3 year old now and life is definitely a challenge, just when one child is asleep the other is colicky and crying and I feel exactly like you said, what else can I do, nothing seems to work. But it is definitely all worth it, in the good times and you just have to keep going as hard as it is x big cyber hugs from another tired mummy x

Jaimie said...

You're such a good mom Natalie!!! Copeland chose you to be his mom and he's a lucky boy!