Finding My Femininity

Oh man, the sexiness, or should I say lack there of, in motherhood.
It's a dirty, messy, full time job. 
It's crawling on the floor, changing dirty diapers, food in your hair, leaking milk on your shirt kinda job. 

It's the best! Really! It is.... But.... I miss my femininity. 
It's been 7 months since having Copeland and I still feel so unsexy
So blah. 
Like such a ... Mom

Before I had Copeland and it was just Josh and I. 
The two of us. I got ready everyday. 
That was my hobby. 
I loved makeup, hair products, clothes and being feminine. 

It was fun for me. 
I loved wearing cute bras and undies and having a great smokey eye with big bombshell hair.
I felt sexy and girly and like such a mrs.       If that's a feeling :)

But now, it's harder to get that side of me to come out and play. 
It's putting myself before my baby. 
And that seems so selfish to do. 
I'm putting that fun part of me away. Or hiding it. 
So where is the balance?

Even on the days I go all out, and pass up doing the laundry
because I'd rather get dolled up for the husband.
It's hard to feel sexy when you're husband comes home to you sitting on the couch,
with a little babe attached to one of your boobs and and a big wet circle on your shirt
over the other. Because let's face it, wearing a normal, cute bra with a nursing babe
is just not happening. At least, not for me. 

Maybe becoming a mother, you get a new kind of femininity.
But whatever it is, I just want to find it.
Maybe I'm just in desperate need of a cute nursing bra, 
a flirty nighty and a good spray on tan. 

All you mamas out there, how did you find your femininity again? 
Did it ever go away for you?
Where's the balance in being who you are and being a mother?

Okay, I couldn't pass up putting one of my favorite songs on here, since it's so fitting :)



Lauren said...

What a perfect post. I find myself going through the same thing right now. Trying to figure out how to get back to me and my husband while still meeting my 4.5 month old son's needs. It's tough. I hardly recognize myself most days, but that tiny smiling face is so wonderful. If you do find the balance please share. Nice to know I'm not the only one feeling like this!

Val @ Chicken Scratch. said...

Its a struggle! While nursing I always feel like a total frumpy mom to be honest. I nursed my first for 4 months before I dried up and with my lil guy I got to 6 months before I dried up…but I will say..once the nursing part of the equation is gone it does make you feel like you have your body back and you are ready to dress cute and sexy again. Jay is 9 months and just last week I ordered ALL new panties and bras. Ive had two kids... I needed some new stuff to feel fresh, pretty, and alive again. It was pricey purchase but it was worth every penny for me.
As far as the day to day…well it's probably the hairstylist in me, but I get ready every single day. (unless I'm sick or a child is sick and there simply isn't time) Cute non-pajama clothes, Makeup, hair curled or flat ironed or topknot. I HAVE to feel like myself and put together. It def. translates into my mood. I get up about 30 min earlier then everyone else so that I can do this. Not saying that everyone should do this…just saying that its a small part of my day that I'm alone, getting ready, taking time for myself, and making myself feel like the old ME that I never want to lose.

Jessica Dobbs said...

I'm on my third. After the first two, I completely lost myself. I was mom, ALL the time. My mascara was TWO years old, and I didn't have any other makeup. I hadn't bought new clothes since before I got pregnant. I got really depressed, and overwhelmed because it felt like I had no escape.

I finally set aside ME time... I take a "spa" shower (LONG, hot, with any of my kids interrupting, body scrubs, shaving, lotioning, the whole shebang)I would buy myself something every now and again, a new tank top or some cute shoes. I pump enough so I can settle down at night and have a glass of wine (pink moscato, so good!)

It's all about finding a way to indulge YOU, but are small enough to NOT invoke the "mommy guilt"

Stephanie Hamme said...

I am finding myself feeling the same exact way. Yesterday I bought a black lace bralette and underwear. Now I just need to find time to shave my legs! But I keep reminding myself to enjoy this time. Hoping you find a balance.

Rachel said...

I know this is an old post but Hot Milk nursing bras are gorgeous and you might like their lingerie also, it's so soft and comfortable. It's a UK company so look up Hot MiK nursing bras... Otherwise you might find yourself on a shocking site. Hope that helps a bit